Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Doldrums

Yep, that's what I think I'm experiencing today - the winter doldrums, the ho-hums or the dear oh dears. Whatever you want to call them, I'm in a funk. I am cranky, quick to anger, glum and generally not very pleasant to be around. I just want to be left alone to contemplate the quiet and not be hassled by anyone or anything. Think I will go home, put on my grubbies and muck boots and head out to the barn and do my chores. That in itself will help, it almost always does. Afterwards, think I might grab the brushes and scrape the mud off of Ladde. He is covered from the tip of his nose to the tips of his hooves and everywhere else in between with thick, dried-on mud from his efforts of yesterday. Yeeuck!! What a job that's gonna be. Oh well, maybe that's exactly what I need. Sure couldn't hurt, and with the way I'm feeling, I should avoid the rest of the human race, that's for sure. And by the time my hubby gets home, maybe I'll be in a better place, figuratively speaking anyway.

The clinic has been dreadfully slow of late. I've almost finished up with my year-end tasks and getting ready for the new year. The numbers from last year are down, my boss who is, (how do I put this delicately?) so cheap, you can't hear the squeak but you know it's there, is fretting over the decline in business and hanging around so much that I'm about to bust. That man can interfere with my job so much that it's nearly impossible to actually accomplish anything, much less have a moment's peace...he talks toooo much!!! And...last, but not least - it looks like there isn't going to be a Christmas bonus this year. And, even though I had been telling myself not to expect it, that it's a bonus after all, I apparently had been hoping and yes, even counting on it. Dang it all anyway, I could really use that little bonus check!! It's never amounted to anything more than $300.00 but hey! - we sure could use that money right about now. The bedding supply is almost gone again, the tires on my car are just a little better than bald, both vehicles need tune-ups and at least an oil change, freezer is almost empty and after last month's "Arctic Blast" our water bill is slightly more than doubled and I am afraid to get the electricity bill. I'm just about positive that given a few more minutes my list could get a whole lot longer than that, but what's the use?? The bottom line is - money's going to be in short supply for a while and I really could have put that well-deserved bonus (in my humble opinion anyway) to very good use. And, to add insult to injury while I'm at it - I haven't had a pay increase in 3-1/2 years now. I am grossly underpaid and if I give that subject much thought, I really will get upset!! But, I am trying very hard to remember to count my blessings and just to be thankful that I have a job and so many other things, but damn it all anyway!!! I just hate feeling unappreciated when I work hard and have been a loyal employee to this man for going on 9 years now and I am his only employee!! In the summer we have a college student working as a veterinarian's assistant but that's only 3 months out of the year. You could think that given the fact that I'm the only full-time employee that he's responsible for that he could at least, if not generous, then at least pay me a competitive wage and good benefits. I do have medical insurance, no dental and I get a 2 week paid vacation and the 5 or 6 major holidays paid. I know that it could be worse, but I also know that in our local area, my wage especially is a mere pittance (spelling?)!!

Oh well, frog's farts anyways!! What I mean to say is that I'm having a pure pisser of a day and right about now I suppose that I'm wallowing in a good dose of the pity pot and I just hate that!!! I will go on home now and try my darndest to climb out and breathe in some good, fresh air, kiss a horsey nose or two and try to stop feeling so sorry for myself!!

Brighter days are just around the corner right?? Or, in other words like my mom used to say "get a good nights sleep and everything will look better in the morning". Okay, I'll do my best. Sorry for venting, but thanks for being here.

That's it for now, cingspots

15 comments:

Gail said...

This too, shall pass!
Have my shovel...need help?

Grey Horse Matters said...

It stinks when you don't feel appreciated. On the other hand with the state of the economy I guess you are right when you say at least you have a job. Maybe you should just ask your boss for a small raise and see what he says. In any case it's always good to vent once in a while.

Lil Mama said...

Mrs. Mom said in her post that the moon effects her son. Mabey it's just the moon. Hang in there. I always say. "It won't always be this hard".

fernvalley01 said...

January sucks! but it will get better bet when you have finnished your Ladde therapy you will be a new woman. Sorry your boss is so "frugal" I am sure you do more than your share and it is nice to be appreciated . If it helps I appreciate you and all the support and encouragement

20 meter circle of life said...

I hear ya sister!! The Janaury blah's. Oh well we are almost half thru it and movingt ot he other side. A little barn time always brightens the day!!

Leah Fry said...

You aren't alone. Almost everyone I know is in the same boat — those that still have jobs. The purse strings have been tightening at my company for the last 8 years. The increases we have received aren't even cost of living. When you take into consideration how much prices have risen, I'm making less money than I was 2 years ago. This is part of the cycle, and it will be interesting to see what happens when the pendulum swings back the other way. I think we'll see a lot of people bolting to new jobs and employers will be forced to pay more. Right now, people are hanging onto their jobs and employers know it. They can get away with not giving people raises because they know people can't afford to leave. I just keep reminding myself I am grateful to have a job.

Gail said...

You want dull? Check our my conversation with dead people this morning. I am sure one of them will get you out of the duldrums.

Nuzzling Muzzles said...

I hope today goes better. In fact, I hope you don't have to feel that way for the rest of your life. I can relate. I wasn't expecting a bonus this year either. Amazingly, we did get one, but it was half of what it usually is. Also, I worked for the same man for 8 years and he never gave me a raise during that entire time. As soon as I got a new supervisor, I brought it up to him and asked him to review my salary. I had to wait several months because something always took priority over reviewing my salary, but eventually I got a 10% raise in an attempt to make up for all those years where I should have been getting 1% and 2% raises here and there. Sometimes I think that employers (especially small business or private company employers) don't even think about it until you as the employee bring it up. They won't be fair until you put the pressure on them. There's nothing a cheap person hates more than being made to feel cheap.

Fantastyk Voyager said...

I don't even want to address financial woes!! Be thankful you're healthy and have horses!

This too, shall pass...

Jenn said...

This time of year always puts me in a funk, so I know exactly how you feel.

I've worked for the same company for 15 years and the raises haven't even kept up with the cost of living. No one got raises this year and there is now an indefinite freeze on any future raises. The cost of health insurance has gone up so much in the past four years that my annual take home has gone DOWN. It sucks. But, I keep coming in every day because it pays the bills and keeps my horses in hay.

It will get better. The sun is out today and the days are once again thankfully getting longer! Go enjoy some equine therapy...you deserve it!

gtyyup said...

I think brushing and mucking will do you a world of good...not that it'll make any of that crap go away, but it'll help your soul...keep your chin up...all will come around the way it should eventually.

The W.O.W. factor said...

Hello! Thanks for stopping by! I agree with your Mom...LOL! The same applies to noses!
I used to work for a Vet like you in small town...you've described him to a tee!

C-ingspots said...

Thanks everybody for your kind comments and understanding. I do understand that there are many who have similar feelings in this economy. Hopefully it will improve. And Nuzzling Muzzles - what a grand idea about making the cheap, feel cheap. I just might try that. Thanks!

Lisa said...

Awww...some days seem like mountains don't they. I'm sure tomorrow will be better and spending time with your Ladde will bring a smile to your face, nothing like a big ol' horse hug!
xxx

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

I wish I could come over and help you get out there and muck and spend time with your choclate dipped horses. I yearn for that more than I can say.

Hang in there and keep on repeating,
"Frog Farts"

It made me smile, and I know if you say it enough it will lighten your doldrums, too.

~Lisa
aka~Rapunzle