A Poultrygeist (?)

I'm not a huge Halloween fan, but I used to be. We used to get all dressed up and go to parties and well, you know...party. But, I've grown up and grown older and I don't get nearly as excited about these things like I once did. But the kiddies - oh how much fun is it to see the little ones in their cute little costumes?? Gotta love that!! Where we live, however, out in the country, we never get any little ghosts or ghouls or princesses trick-or-treating so, us poor country folk - we kinda like the spooky stories. You know...kinda like this one here...

Once upon a time, there was a gal named "Peach". Peach liked to take her dog "Moochie Poochie" for walks during their lunchbreaks, you know get out, get a little exercise, clear the mind and get some fresh air. Now there was this park waaay out on the edge of town which was kind of magical.

All foresty-like and kind of dark - you know, the kind of a park that once you step inside you feel like you're in a whole different world.

See it's pretty spooky in here...so this might be a good time to tell you about the Urban Legend of the Halloween Chicken - yep, that's right THE Halloween Chicken; the very same one you've heard about since olden times, you know way back in the dark ages when we were just little hoodlums ourselves. Nope, I'm not gonna spread silly legends around so, back to the story at hand...

Peach and Moochie Poochie set out on their walk. And before long, that creepy feeling set upon the both of 'em - that feeling like they was being watched. You know what I'm talking about. The kind of feeling that makes those little hairs on the back of your neck stand up and your skin goes all clammy and cold and yet you're kind of sweating at the same time...and your heart starts racing just a bit and you tell yourself to just "stop", just cut it out already!! This is 2008 and there ain't no such thing as ghosts or Halloween Chickens or any other kind of such nonsense!!

So they continue on, with the brave and loyal Moochie Poochie in the lead - ready to defend her beloved Peach at great risk of paw and tail, no matter the cost. Dogs are just that way ya know? Not far down the trail, Peach realizes that she's forgotten her cell phone back in the car - oh no!! It can't be - now she's really worried because what if? I mean, just what if those stories weren't just stories after all?? And what if a ghost or something were to happen along the trail - I mean, who ya gonna call?? So, they bravely forge ahead accepting their fate, whatever it may be. When all of a sudden, up ahead - what's this???

Why...it's a giant mushroom and it's been here a really, really long time cuz there's moss growing on the top and spider webs hanging off of it and everything!!! All of Peach's senses were SCREAMING at her: Don't go near it!! DO NOT !, under any circumstances, go inside or else, gulp, or else...

But, you know, like most women...Peach couldn't resist - she was just too dad blamed brave for her own good. So, she ventured forth into the sweet darkness of the inner chamber and this is what she saw!!

Waaay cool - petroglyphs!!! Man oh man this has been here a long time!! Peach just didn't know what to expect, but she never in a million years would'a thunk it! Ancient drawings on the inside of a prehistoric, giant mushroom!!!! AWESOME!!!!! So, relaxing somewhat, she went inside and explored a bit.

Wow, what a discovery! Peach just couldn't believe her amazing luck!! Boy, did she have a story to tell when she got back to work. Just amazing!! So, much lighter at heart, Peach and Moochie Poochie continued on with their little walk through the forest. When all of a sudden, Moochie Poochie sniffed something in the bushes!! The hair stood on end on Moochie's back and she began this low, deep growl that made Peach stop dead in her tracks...

Unbelievable!! Oh Saints preserve us!! It's the nest for the dreaded Halloween Chicken!!!!!! Peach could not believe what she was seeing!! Oh no! - she and Moochie had to get out of here NOW!!! Run fast, run now!! When all of a sudden, out from behind the tree - it sprang!! Quickly and ferrociously, it pounced right in front of Peach!! It's knife-like spurs glistening in the afternoon light; it's chisled beak razor sharp and deadly!! Oh horrors!!

And then it happened, that mean-spirited evil menace Halloween Chicken lunged at Peach! There was a scuffle and so much debris and leaves stirred up from the forrest floor that nothing could be seen! Loyal, brave Moochie Poochie watched as her beloved master fought beak and spur for her very life!! Who will feed me?? Who will take me on walks??? - wondered Poochie...(coward). After the battle, and the air had cleared; this was the only visible remains that could be seen...

Peach stood up, brushed the dirt off of her clothes and said "Guess that'll teach him to peck me!!"

Happy Halloweeney ya'll!!!!!!