Boy, what an emotional day it's been for me. I can be an overly emotional person a lot of the time anyway, at least by most people's standards. At my age, maybe that's not uncommon, but even by my own standards, this one's been a doozy. It's very tiring caring so much about so many. And, as I continue to learn, I'm not in control in this life. That's the really frustrating part, coming to the realization that even though I care deeply and passionately about some things, be it people or animals or causes, I am just along for the ride most of the time. We all do whatever it is that we can do to help - in our own ways. But at the end of the day, we have to be content knowing that someone besides us is in charge and we just keep going, and each doing what it is in this life that we do.
I feel sad because the first thing I did after arriving at the clinic was check out a few blogs and my e-mails. I learned from a fellow blogger that the little starving horse named "Noah" died shortly after arriving at his new home. They named him "Noah" because that is the Hebrew word for peace. That's a very nice name, I think. He deserved some peace in his life, if anybody did. I'm not sure what touched me about this little guy, but his soulful face seemed to cry out for some kind of love and compassion. Mrs. Mom who is obviously a passionate individual jumped in along with some other caring people and re-located this horse and were ready and willing to go the distance and try to rehabilitate him and bring him back to health. But alas, it was too late and Noah didn't make it. I have to be satisfied knowing that there are people in this world who do care and are willing to go that extra distance to try. I am thankful that Noah died in a warm, cushy bed of shavings with a blanket on and his belly was somewhat satisfied from a meal. I believe that he felt safe, maybe for the first time in a long time. I believe that he felt loved: and that will have to be enough. I am thankful for that. Rest in peace little Noah.
On a different subject, I have been feeling very lonely for a while now. I guess I've just been feeling nostalgic lately, reminiscing about the way life used to be. My parents are both gone. My dad died almost 14 years ago and my mom died almost 3 years ago. I still miss them both very much. I have 2 sisters, but only one that I have a relationship with. Most of the time, it's just my hubby and me and our animals. Thank God we have them. They really do enrich our lives every day. Life would be far less sweet without them and that makes them very valuable to me. Not in monetary value - the kind of value I'm talking about goes so much deeper. I've learned more from my horses than from any other teacher I've known. My horses make me laugh, they definitely keep me humble and they are better listeners than any counselor or psychoanalyst ever could hope to be. They are always honest and you never have to worry about them divulging your secrets or gossiping to strangers about you.
They are a blessing and once again, when I go home, I will give thanks to a wonderful, loving Creator who gave mankind such wonderful companions. I am constantly reminded that although my life is not perfect; it is a good life. I am forever in His debt.