Thursday, January 6, 2011

Into the future...

Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin into the's another new year. 2011 - so hard to believe. I'll turn 51 this year and my hubby will turn 62. Damn. Where have the years gone? I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel, but when I look back into my archives of memory - 50 was old in anybody's book! I don't feel old. Well, I feel older certainly; but not old. But then again, some days after putting in a lot of hard work, I do feel old - at least my body does! That's life though, right? Seasons of ones' life...I'm feeling like it's probably the beginning of fall. Still plenty of time before winter. One of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies..."get busy livin' or get busy dyin'" Yep! Words of wisdom and words I hope to keep in mind and put to good use. However, some days when it's slow at the clinic and there's nothing to do...but be here - I do feel like I'm wasting my life away. My mind rationalizes that almost anything that I could be doing with my time would be more valuable than sitting here and becoming vegetable-like. Don't get me wrong - I am thankful for my job. I am thankful that I have a job that provides an income which we need. I am thankful for so many things, but I'm also tired of coming to this clinic day in and day out and just "being here". I find that at times I am guilty of wishing my life away...longing for the days when I no longer have to "report for duty", punch somebody else's clock in order to provide money for my survival. I dream of the day when my time is my own. What a blessing that will be!! I just hope and pray that I'm not too old to enjoy that freedom, and that I still have the means and the energy to do all the things that I only daydream about so very often these days...

Oh well, like dear old dad used to say; "you can wish in one hand and *@#! in the other, and just see which one fills up quicker!" :) I loved my dad...miss him all the time...God Bless his resting soul!!

So on that note (ahem)...moving right along...I'm surprised as all get-out that I'm actually writing a post on my blog; it's been a long time! September 21st was my last post! A lot has happened since then and I'm not even going to try and catch up now.

Fall has come and gone, and we're in the winter time now. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years are behind us again, and I for one am thankful for that. Thanksgiving was just hubby and me at home. Quiet, yummy meal, but a little lonely. We had ourselves a merry little Christmas, but it too, was very low-key. Christmas Eve we were home, taking care of the horses, cooking and delivering home-baked cookies to our neighbors and visiting. Christmas Eve dinner was spent at my sister's house. Christmas Day was Sabbath and we went to church and came home and enjoyed dinner, just the two of us. The friday before New Years we went shopping (fun!) and were in bed by 10...exciting huh? I enjoy the holidays, mostly...but for me, the holidays and winter are times for too many memories, remembering loved ones that are now gone, reminiscing about the good old days and noticing that by comparison, things don't seem quite as good anymore. My bad. I know that this is a dangerous and slippery slope, and one that I shouldn't entertain nearly as often as I do...but with all the rain and mud, and the shortened daylight hours and the lack of outdoor physical brain goes into decline and I suffer from (for a lack of a better word) depression. I don't like that word. I think it's highly overused, but it's at least somewhat truthful. Sads, the blues...whatever...I hate winter in northwest Oregon - always have and probably always will. Another daydream of mine is trying to figure out exactly where I would want to move to, if I could actually move. I spend a fair amount of time working on this, and I've come up with several options...someday, somehow I'm gonna do it...or die trying!

Overall, we're doing well. Our horses are all fat, healthy, fuzzy and happy. Annie is perfect (as always) and our new puppy, Ruby is turning into a lovely young lady...Annie might disagree, but it is happening! Nellie died on September 28th and that is a long, tragic and sad story that I don't wish to relive. Suffice it to say that we miss her, and I am looking forward to the day when I get to see her in well as a whole bunch of other people and animals whom I have loved in my life!

My boss is giving me a satellite dish for a Christmas bonus. We don't actually have it installed yet, but soon. We just have basic cable service and don't have many choices in viewing, but hopefully that will improve. We don't have plans to pay for additional channels, but we are looking forward to at least some more options in free channels. The Adventist church alone has nine channels I think, and they have some pretty good ones. We're looking forward to those and also the many radio channels that we'll be able to listen to. The reception at our house is really bad and just having clear radio reception will be wonderful.

I'm hoping to begin my winter arena riding soon too. I'd like to alternate between riding Ladde and Harley, as they could both benefit greatly from the exercise. Harley's blindness has progressed rather quickly. He still has a little vision, but not much. I was very worried about his safety being turned out in the pasture with the herd for a while, but lately he seems to be adjusting and I have relaxed about him somewhat. I continue to pray for his safety every morning and so far, so good. We take it one day at a time...that's all I know to do.

Hoping you all are doing well and wishing the best to all my friends in this new year.

Keeping the faith...
Cingspots, aka Lorie


fernvalley01 said...

Nice to here from you Lorie! and huge hugs .Spring will come my friend. and a winter arena! wow want to adopt me?

C-ingspots said...

Well hello there my friend! Thanks for the note...uh-oh, I think you've misunderstood something I said - we're not getting an indoor arena. Just hoping to start using a friend's for winter riding...I wish!!! That would be something to get excited about!! :)

Lea and her Mustangs said...

Have missed you bunches. Had about given up looking. Glad you are well and doing OK. Winter gives me the blahs too. Have been enjoying the snow with my sleigh though. God bless

gtyyup said...

Nice to hear that you're doing well...and the critters are too. Wish you many blessings in the New Year~

Donna said...

Seems a few of us in the blogosphere are feeling the same about our lives...not enough content. I think part of it is just the lack of ability to be outside with our ponies. Hang in there!

Leah Fry said...

Welcome back to the blogosphere. It's a rare person indeed that doesn't get a little blue in the gray doldrums of winter, especially when winter means rain and more rain.

Glad Harley is adjusting to his condition. His memory of where things are will help him, as will the other horses.

May the new year bring health and prosperity. I, too, look forward to a day when I no longer have to report for duty. Not sure when that might be, since it is my job that allows us our current lifestyle.

Carolynn said...

If it makes you feel any better, The Frenchman were in bed (and sleeping!) by 10pm on New Year's Eve, as well.

So sorry to hear about the loss of Nellie. *Big Hug*

I am glad to hear that Harley's doing well, though, all things considered.

I've come to realize that life is a series of highs and lows and that in order to live life to the fullest, we have to bottom out sometimes. My hope is simply that I'm able to bounce back up again quickly and spend more of my time on the upswing.