Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Just my thoughts and some observations this morning.
It's getting hot here. Bloody hot! As in, potentially reaching into the lower 100's hot. Oh dear - and we have a wedding to attend Saturday evening at 5. Heat of the day, make-up melting, sweating bullets kind of heat. I hate heat. Makes me soooo cranky!
And lately I've been feeling very cranky. I haven't quite been able to put my finger on why, but there ya go! Doesn't matter who you are either. I'm an equal opportunity kind of beeech, yessireee! I don't mean to be. Don't like it at all, but tired, drooping face, beyond my control moodiness. Dog daze?
Yesterday, had my sweet momma been living, would have been her 93rd birthday. Oh, I can hardly believe she's been gone 10 years. And it just really bothers me that I'm having some difficulty deciding if she would have been 93 or was it 92? I hate forgetting! And oh, how I miss her. Just to sit down with her, talk about whatever's going on, laugh and maybe even bicker a little, eat tomatoes - anything! I just miss hearing her voice and miss that special feeling of love from mom...it's just never the same from anybody else. I don't know. If you still have your mom, maybe you don't know what I mean, but I just wish...
And yes, I've been feeling emotional lately too. With all that's been going on, I'm kind of feeling crazy, like I'm running around in circles, too busy and accomplishing little. Everything feels a little weird lately. Lots of stuff happening. My little great-niece was admitted to the children's hospital in Portland yesterday complaining of stomach pain. 18 hours later her appendix burst and last evening she went into surgery. At 2-1/2 years old a major surgery with an expected long recovery time due to the high toxins in her blood. Her grandpa said she was the color of a yellow post-it. Scary! I wonder why it took all day long and not figuring out it was appendicitis before it burst? Really?
And the horses are irritable too - must be the heat and the dust, and the lime floating all through the air. At times in the last several days the air quality around our home has been deplorable. Farmers!! Grrrr...I know, I know - they have a job to do and all that, but still. Our home, our cars, everything is coated in a layer of dirt and lime. When my eyes burn and run, I feel the sting in my nose as well, and I taste the lime - it's a bit much. They should have to have limitations on the timing, or have to wet down the dirt first, I don't know. I do know it's a health hazard. The horses eyes are watering, I've heard several of them coughing lately and I'm just so tired of it. Tired...we all are I think. I'm starting to really look forward to Fall. Blessed Autumn with the cooler temps, the dampness of the dew and the feeling of moisture in the air. Sweaters and jeans. *sigh*
My lesson last night with Eagle. Pretty much sucked. Maybe I exaggerate, but it just didn't feel good. To either of us. I'm increasingly getting this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that our riding/training (hate that word) educational sessions are getting off track. The willfulness, the resistance that I'm feeling coming from my horse does not feel good to me. It doesn't feel good to him either or he wouldn't be so argumentative! Jessica, bless her heart - has helped me a lot! A lot. I just don't agree with much of her training techniques where my horse is concerned. I have no doubt that she accomplishes much. However...I know there are much better ways. Problem is, she's just not educated in those better ways. And therefore, we are nearing an impasse. I'm thinking for the time we have left this riding season I need to come up with a better plan - for all our sakes. Therefore, I'm hoping to focus on doing some trail riding with Jess. Continue with the confidence building and sweaty blankets kind of therapy. Get with my horse and get moving outside the ring where we can enjoy the scenery, cross some creeks and just have some fun. That's my prescription for the time being. The lessons will present themselves. Of that, I am sure. We won't even realize that we're gaining valuable experience but it will just happen. My horse is bored stiff. He hates it! And I value him too much to "make" him do anything. It just isn't my way. So, I am going to try and find someone different who can help me work with my horse on the more technical stuff and ring riding. And keep the focus and time spent with Jessica to helping me improve my skills and confidence level. I feel better already just deciding on a new plan. Now for the search.
Ladde, who was positively a brat last night for his shoeing session - is doing great. His feet, his weight, visibly, everything is great. I want to do another blood panel to test his numbers late summer, early fall because for whatever reason, the numbers always tend to rise this time of year. If we're still on track, then I know we're doing the best we can. So there's that. Plus, the big brute needs a job. He absolutely needs to be ridden far more than what is happening. I just don't have the time to devote to Eagle and ride another horse often enough to make a difference given the time frame I have to work within. It just isn't happening. Know thy limitations...
See, I told you I've been crabby. I am sorry. If I could step outside my "edgar suit", believe me, I would! :) What a refreshing break that would be.
Name that movie!
Hoping everything just mellows out already - and until next time, be well my friends. Be well!