Wednesday, August 17, 2016

troubled winds




Just my thoughts and some observations this morning.

It's getting hot here.  Bloody hot!  As in, potentially reaching into the lower 100's hot.  Oh dear - and we have a wedding to attend Saturday evening at 5.  Heat of the day, make-up melting, sweating bullets kind of heat.  I hate heat.  Makes me soooo cranky!

And lately I've been feeling very cranky.  I haven't quite been able to put my finger on why, but there ya go!  Doesn't matter who you are either.  I'm an equal opportunity kind of beeech, yessireee!  I don't mean to be.  Don't like it at all, but tired, drooping face, beyond my control moodiness.  Dog daze?

Yesterday, had my sweet momma been living, would have been her 93rd birthday.  Oh, I can hardly believe she's been gone 10 years.  And it just really bothers me that I'm having some difficulty deciding if she would have been 93 or was it 92?  I hate forgetting!   And oh, how I miss her.  Just to sit down with her, talk about whatever's going on, laugh and maybe even bicker a little, eat tomatoes - anything!  I just miss hearing her voice and miss that special feeling of love from mom...it's just never the same from anybody else.  I don't know.  If you still have your mom, maybe you don't know what I mean, but I just wish...

And yes, I've been feeling emotional lately too.  With all that's been going on, I'm kind of feeling crazy, like I'm running around in circles, too busy and accomplishing little.  Everything feels a little weird lately.  Lots of stuff happening.  My little great-niece was admitted to the children's hospital in Portland yesterday complaining of stomach pain.  18 hours later her appendix burst and last evening she went into surgery.  At 2-1/2 years old a major surgery with an expected long recovery time due to the high toxins in her blood.  Her grandpa said she was the color of a yellow post-it.  Scary!  I wonder why it took all day long and not figuring out it was appendicitis before it burst?  Really?

And the horses are irritable too - must be the heat and the dust, and the lime floating all through the air.  At times in the last several days the air quality around our home has been deplorable.  Farmers!!  Grrrr...I know, I know - they have a job to do and all that, but still.  Our home, our cars, everything is coated in a layer of dirt and lime.  When my eyes burn and run, I feel the sting in my nose as well, and I taste the lime - it's a bit much.  They should have to have limitations on the timing, or have to wet down the dirt first, I don't know.  I do know it's a health hazard.  The horses eyes are watering, I've heard several of them coughing lately and I'm just so tired of it.  Tired...we all are I think.  I'm starting to really look forward to Fall.  Blessed Autumn with the cooler temps, the dampness of the dew and the feeling of moisture in the air.  Sweaters and jeans.  *sigh*



My lesson last night with Eagle.  Pretty much sucked.  Maybe I exaggerate, but it just didn't feel good.  To either of us.  I'm increasingly getting this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that our riding/training (hate that word) educational sessions are getting off track.  The willfulness, the resistance that I'm feeling coming from my horse does not feel good to me.  It doesn't feel good to him either or he wouldn't be so argumentative!  Jessica, bless her heart - has helped me a lot!  A lot.  I just don't agree with much of her training techniques where my horse is concerned.  I have no doubt that she accomplishes much.  However...I know there are much better ways.  Problem is, she's just not educated in those better ways.  And therefore, we are nearing an impasse.  I'm thinking for the time we have left this riding season I need to come up with a better plan - for all our sakes.  Therefore, I'm hoping to focus on doing some trail riding with Jess.  Continue with the confidence building and sweaty blankets kind of therapy.  Get with my horse and get moving outside the ring where we can enjoy the scenery, cross some creeks and just have some fun.  That's my prescription for the time being.  The lessons will present themselves.  Of that, I am sure.  We won't even realize that we're gaining valuable experience but it will just happen.  My horse is bored stiff.  He hates it!  And I value him too much to "make" him do anything.  It just isn't my way.  So, I am going to try and find someone different who can help me work with my horse on the more technical stuff and ring riding. And keep the focus and time spent with Jessica to helping me improve my skills and confidence level.  I feel better already just deciding on a new plan.  Now for the search.

Ladde, who was positively a brat last night for his shoeing session - is doing great.  His feet, his weight, visibly, everything is great.  I want to do another blood panel to test his numbers late summer, early fall because for whatever reason, the numbers always tend to rise this time of year.  If we're still on track, then I know we're doing the best we can.  So there's that.  Plus, the big brute needs a job. He absolutely needs to be ridden far more than what is happening.  I just don't have the time to devote to Eagle and ride another horse often enough to make a difference given the time frame I have to work within.  It just isn't happening.  Know thy limitations...

See, I told you I've been crabby.  I am sorry.  If I could step outside my "edgar suit", believe me, I would!  :)  What a refreshing break that would be.

Name that movie!

Hoping everything just mellows out already - and until next time, be well my friends.  Be well!
Lorie

13 comments:

Ian H said...

Somebody needs a holiday! You are forgetting all the good things going on around you. :-{

C-ingspots said...

Oh Ian, thank you for the reminder of that. I agree - I do need a holiday. A long holiday! I didn't mention any, but there is always good to be thankful for.

DJan said...

Heat does the same thing to me, but it seems like you really do have a lot on your plate. And missing your mom? I know that one; she's been gone since 1993 but I still get visits from her every now and then in my dreams. This heat wave will probably be the last one for this summer... right? Sending you lots of happy thoughts. :-)

Grey Horse Matters said...

We've been having high temps for weeks now and yeah I'm a little cranky too. Can't wait for Fall! Still miss my mom who's been gone for 18 years now. She was only 68 so I feel sometimes we were cheated of more time together. It's devastating to lose a best friend and a mother's love. You have a lot going on now that doesn't sound great but at least Ladde is doing well.

C-ingspots said...

Oh thank you...it helps so much knowing there are friends who understand. I do see my mom (and dad) in my dreams every once in a while. It's always nice. But I sure do miss them. Probably always will...
Yes Arlene - Ladde is doing well, in fact all the horses are and I'm so grateful for that. Even my dogs are good. For all our sakes I do hope this is the last heat wave of summer. Hope!

Linda said...

My horses are hot and grumpy, too. There are more bugs--flies, bees, pests--and they've had it. I'm sick of summer, as well. I'm not a summer person. Never have been. Never will be. I feel like I'm swelling up all the time. I don't even wear my wedding ring anymore because when I do swell, it's hard to get off. It's also impossible to get trail rides in when it's so hot. We've been working here in the morning, but even that feels like a chore in the heat. I hope we get a break soon. I love fall and can't wait for it to get here.

I think getting out on the trail will solve all or most of your problems. If the bonding occurs and teaching gets done on the trails, maybe he'd be more cooperative in the arena when you're stuck with only that option.

Annette Mickelson said...

The heat and the medical stuff would make anyone cranky. I know what you mean about missing your mom. I miss mine a lot, too. Like you said, there is something about that mother-daughter bond that is special and unique; and oh-so missed when they're gone.

Glenda Beall said...

My mother has been gone a long, long time, but I miss her still. She was the person I always turned to when times were tough for me. If you have a great relationship with your mother, I think you always miss her.
I live in WNC in the mountains where it is supposed to be cool, but his summer has been awful! I don't go outside unless I have to, and it is too hot to sit on my deck in the afternoon. Hot weather is bad for people with auto immune diseases and I have a couple of them. So, I am with you all about hoping Fall comes soon.

aurora said...

It seems there is a lot of "that feeling" going around these days...hang tight, the winds are changing! Wishing a speedy recovery for your niece, tough when the little ones have surgery. She will surprise you, kids have an innate ability to take it all in stride. Your plan with Eagle sounds like a good one. He may simply be one of many horses that dislike arena work, and happiest out on the trail. Altho, Eagle is likely picking up on your feelings. Have you tried mixing some fun into your arena time (ex. equine ball)? There is nothing wrong (or easy) about moving on from trainers, they all have their strengths and weaknesses. You will carry lesson's learned (including the less desirable ones) and build from them. Sorry to hear about the lime/dirty air - sounds awful! Truly hope that changes sooner then later for everyones sake!!

Sherry Sikstrom said...

hang in there my friend! I have been at odds the last while as well ,must be something in the air

T.L. Merrybard said...

What really sucks about being that crabby is that everyone else can get out of your way but you can't get out of your own head and escape the crabbies yourself. :D

I think hitting the trail with Eags is the perfect solution. You need those trail miles anyway, and some horses just don't like arena work. It always amazes me that any of them manage it really. For them it must make no sense at all, but some are biddable and maybe not so smart and they just keep on going round and round. Maybe as a mustang, Eagle sees the silliness of it, just as my Arab always did. Both are breeds meant to cover the miles and see new things every day. :) They can't know we are trying to work on our togetherness and horse yoga and all that.

I think, looking at Eagle's face and that big, strong nose bone and quirk bump he has, he is always going to be fairly stubborn and opinionated. That's ok, it can be managed, and he has that lovely big eye to show he is a good guy too, but don't beat yourself up that it is something you are doing wrong. That is just how he is made to be. Have you ever read "Understand and Influence your horse's personality" by Linda Tellington-Jones? One of my all time fave horse books and is great fun looking at all the different features of your own horses and working up a personality profile for them then planning ways to work with that. I highly recommend it, maybe for when it is too hot to be riding, or too cold over winter!

C-ingspots said...

I haven't read that book Tina. But thanks for the recommendation. I'll check it out.

Karen Ann said...


I think the humidity has been getting to EVERYONE.