Sad Day

I had this post all arranged about a wonderful weekend beach trip with a very dear friend of mine, pretty pictures and all...but I just don't feel like doing it today.

For a while now, I've been taking Harley to an indoor arena and riding him with a friend of mine and her horse. It's been going great and I've been enjoying this one-on-one time with my wonderful horse. We've been doing some bonding and building confidence in one another and getting physical exercise, and it's all been so very enjoyable.

I didn't get to go riding last Sunday morning because there was an unusual event take place during the morning feeding. My hubby and I were up pretty early, had a quick cup of coffee, then headed out to the barn to let the horses out into the corral where they could enjoy their breakfast in the sunshine. Nothing unusual...pretty much our morning routine, except on this particular morning, I was the one pushing the "roach coach" around dispensing the hay piles while my hubby released the horses from their stalls one by one. As is customary with our little herd, Shad (the thoroughbred) got out first and he came running and bucking out to the hay where he has a little taste and then, unable to contain his pure, unadulterated joy at his freedom, has to go gallywhomping off again being the silly goose that he is...normal stuff...however, when it was Harley's turn to come running out he came charging with a full head of steam straight at me. gulp...no time to react, except for a quick thought to dash behind the roach coach for cover...sounded like my best chance for protection at the time, except that when Harley got close enough for me to look straight in his eye, I knew he wasn't going to run over the top of me; he was instead going to go straight over the top of the roach coach full of hay...what the heck!? So, I quickly moved in the opposite direction and surely as if it had been his intent, Harley ran right over the top of the cart...as if it hadn't been there...as if he hadn't even seen it. Very strange...

So, I ran into the barn and grabbed his halter and lead to bring him back inside where I could survey the damage. He appeared to be okay but for a few minor scuffs and one small cut near his coronet band on a front foot. Good grief!! I say a quick prayer of thankfulness that he wasn't hurt and turn him back out for his breakfast. As I headed back out to finish depositing piles of hay and collect the roach coach, I realized I had left the gate open into a small paddock-sized grassy area which of course, Shad had spotted. Before I could get through the gate, Ladde and then Harley were all in the grassy area. I followed suit with the intention of flushing them back out into the corral where they belonged before heading back inside for another cup of coffee.

Now, the horses know before I say a thing that these are sweet, stolen bites of fresh, green grass and that they are going to be run out...so, without much prompting from me, one by one they run out. Harley was the last to leave, and he rounded the open gate with ease and proceded to run full-tilt out into the corral. Now, one thing I had failed to mention earlier; was that I had left the now nearly empty roach coach sitting right smack dab in the middle of the corral...well, Harley ran right into it again!! This time he flipped over and got his hind leg briefly entangled in the handle. Oh my word!!! I was in complete and total shock at what I had just witnessed and was so upset that he was hurt, I could barely think straight. What is going on!!?? First thing that crossed my mind, of course, was that he can't see!!

So, to make a long story somewhat shorter...last night my boss came out and did a full eye exam on Harley and he is indeed, losing his vision. Apparently, he has been losing his vision for a while now. How long, we will never know, but looking back over the last year or more...let's just say that a lot of questions in my mind have now been answered. So many occurances now seem so much more clear. I had occasionally wondered why my perfect little trail pony seemed to be so much spookier than he used to be; he used to be so much more sure-footed than he is nowadays...the list could go on and on and on, but you get the picture. I can remember quite a few times where the thought had crossed my mind...is he having trouble seeing? And then, as quickly as that nasty little thought entered my mind, I would dismiss it; certain that I was being paranoid, or it was just my overactive imagination...only now I know it wasn't. I can only say that I am so heartsick at the thought of my beloved Harley going blind. Oh how I wish it wasn't so!! He's only 12 years old, and he has so much life and energy, and he's just so healthy and vibrant!! It's such a hard diagnosis to accept, except somewhere deep inside...I already knew it.
I hate it!! One of the things I hate the most is feeling helpless, and right now I feel utterly and completely helpless. My boss took close-up pictures of Harley's eye and plans on sending them to some ophthalmologists that he knows, but told me not to get my hopes up. I know there are many advances in medicine in regards to the eye, but the prognosis is usually guarded at best. It probably doesn't help that he's an Appaloosa. Seems to be a pitfall of this beautiful breed of horse. I can only say that I feel so very, very sad about this. Not for me, but that my beautiful and cock-sure little horse may very well become blind and won't be able to see all the beauty that there is to see. I would appreciate your prayers for Harley.

I'm not nearly as confident of a rider as I used to be, and I'm trying to get over my feelings of fear and inadequacy, but this opens up a whole new host of challenges that we will need to overcome. I've never been a quitter, and I won't now, or ever, give up on Harley. A blind trail horse can be quite a challange, but if God's plan for Harley is to be blind, then we'll just have to get through it together and the best way we know how. Again, I humbly ask for all your prayers if you don't mind. We can use all the help we can get. I'm not the sort of person who can easily, or any other way for that matter, disgard an animal. They are family. Right or wrong, for better or for worse...we're in this for the longhaul.

Blessings all,
cingspots :(