Friday, September 13, 2013

Rhythms of life

Webster's dictionary defines rhythm as originating from the Greek word, "rhythmos".  "Any regular recurring motion, symmetry", generally means a "movement marked by the regulated succession of strong and weak elements, or of opposite or different conditions."  This general meaning of regular recurrence or pattern in time can apply to a wide variety of cyclical natural phenomena having a periodicity or frequency of anything from microseconds to thousands of years.

I've been thinking a lot lately about life, about aging, about the passing of time, death, changing of the seasons.  To me it all feels very much like a circle...with everything in perfect rhythm, reoccurring over and over and over as in the seasons.  Rhythmos.  Seasons.  The circle of life.  An ever changing, evolving and refining process until we reach our end.  It's really beautiful.

I've reached middle-aged.  Over the hill status.  A woman of maturity.  Well, physically anyway.  I'm not at all sure about the maturity of the mind.  After all, I still feel like a child in some ways, in awe of so many things in the world and in my surroundings.  I still dream.  I still have hopes.  And I still have fears.  Insecurities really, rather than true fear.  But my point is, that we never really lose that inner child where we started out.  I carry her with me all the time.  She helped create the woman that I am today.  We're all a product of our genetics, of our environment, of our experiences, our unique personalities and I believe, by the path we've chosen.  Who we have chosen to become.
My Annie...beautiful, mature lady
We're greatly inspired by whom we've chosen to follow, and from whom we choose to learn.  The people we admire, where we go, who we talk with and what we see.  The Bible tells us, "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things."  I believe this so strongly.  Our thoughts are a huge part of who we are, and who we become.  We become what we think and who we think we are.  Our minds have great power to mold us.  Sometimes (more often than I'd like to admit) I struggle with this.  Maybe everyone does, I don't know, but I'm always trying to "lighten" my thoughts, to speak kindly to myself.  It's more of a challenge to show myself kindness and patience than it is to show others.   I have a strong tendency to find fault with myself.  To be overly critical of not only my physical appearance, but of my shortcomings and my inadequacies.  I chastise myself for having fears, whereas if it were someone other than me, I would willingly offer support and encouragement.  I really struggle with this, and have for as long as I can remember.  I'm getting better.  It's high time, don't you think?  Like I said, I've passed that summit and I'm clearly going down the other side now.  I'm not old.  I don't feel old, but I've reached the status of mature woman.
Another mature lady  :)
Maybe that's why I'm loving this season of my life so much.  Seriously.  I am so much stronger than I once was.  Okay, I'm mentally, much stronger, not physically.  I'm more confident in my abilities, I'm more competent, self-assured and much more comfortable with who I am as a woman, as a human being.  Like an onion, I have many layers, there's much more to me than meets the eye.  I'm complicated, I'm passionate and opinionated, I'm emotional, moody, spiritual, earthy, creative, humble, prideful, sensual, sensitive, quick to anger and highly imperfect.  *sigh*  And so many other things.  I am so thankful for this life.  I wouldn't want to go back to that insecure, carefree, young, inexperienced young woman of 20ish for anything in this world.  Oh, well maybe to have that physical body that I once had would be nice, but not even for that.  Nope.  Not even.  I'm so happy and secure and comfortable with who I am today.  That is much nicer.  I have wisdom now.  :)  Well...some wisdom; but He's still working on me.  And, I don't have periods anymore.  That's pretty cool.  It is all so worth it.  As the poet, Robert Frost (?) once said, many more miles before I sleep...at least I hope.

Which leads us to the end of seasons...that part of life which was never in the plan...death.  That part sucks.  Totally and seriously sucks.  My boss, who is also my dear friend, had to lay to rest his beloved horse today.  Sammy.   Beans, as he was lovingly called because of his tendency to "pass gas" at any and inappropriate times.  He was Rick's dream horse.  His quick and fleet-footed cutting horse.  Whoa to any cow that crossed his path horse.  The better have respect for me and my opinions, cold-backed, hang on, bucking horse.  The horse who dared present his position on things and give you a run for your money, argumentative Sammy.  Rick had met his match with him.  He loved him, and now he's broken-hearted to have to let his dear friend go.  My heart breaks for him.  I've been there and I can say from experience, that it hurts.  It hurts a lot.  Having to make that decision isn't anything that any animal lover ever wants to have to do.  But, when you are a caretaker of animals, large or small, it happens.  And when it does, nothing makes it better, except for maybe a loving and understanding hug from someone who understands.  So, I hugged my friend today and I cried on his behalf.  I'm so, so sorry my friend.  But thank you for being kind to an old friend.  May you never forget those rides and those arguments.  Remember and smile.  Rest in peace little, red horse...

Another change in seasons, our weather has mellowed out greatly.  Two days ago we hit 97 and it was miserably hot, yesterday was upper 80's and today I'm wearing jeans and a sweatshirt.  Go figure.  We have rain in the forecast and temps in the 60's next week.  Fall is definitely in the air.  I'm actually looking forward to it.  Jeans.  Boots.  Sweaters.  Cozy fires in the wood stove.  And of course, my squirreling tendencies over which I seemingly have so little control.  Life does go on...

Making applesauce and a BBQ at my brother and sis-in-law's are on tap for this weekend.  I also hope to spend some time with Eagle.  He seems to be feeling rather dejected and left out lately.  He received a little reminder about electric fencing last night.  Those free-wheeling days of going under the wire and helping himself to my once-thriving fruit orchard are history.  So many lessons in this life...

Maybe I'll also get the chance to see my rain chain in action.  That would be cool.

Blessings everyone,
Lorie @ Cingspots

7 comments:

Denise at Autumn Sky said...

A lovely post:-)

Kate said...

I always love your meditations. I've always found fall to be a time of rethinking and new beginnings, as well as endings. I am sorry to hear of your friend's loss of her horse - that is never easy for any of us.

Carolynn Anctil said...

We need a rain chain - heck, we need gutters...that's another story...

I think it's natural, as we age, to think about death and the passage of time. I like myself now so much more so than I did 10 years ago. I was the cause of so much of my unhappiness. There's a lot to be said for the confidently mature woman.

After having worked at an assisted living facility for a short time, I find myself wondering how I'll conduct myself when I'm older. It can be daunting to think about, but then I remind myself that it could all be over tomorrow, so I just enjoy the day I've been given, with gratitude.

I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your boss's horse. The loss of any life is heartache, but one that we have bonded so strongly with is all the more painful.

Blessings,
Carolynn

Cindy D. said...

That was one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. Knowing that it came from your heart making it more so.

I am so sorry for your boss and the loss of his guy.

Victoria Cummings said...

Lori - We are definitely on the same page!

aurora said...

Beautiful heartfelt thoughts & pictures!! Glad I dug back to missed posts, you certainly have a way with words. Healing words, for others - and you.

thecrazysheeplady said...

Beautiful post and pictures!