Friday, August 19, 2011
He's all mine...
The last several weeks I'd spent many an hour doubting my decision to get another horse. That's what I do. I hash and I re-hash. I toss and turn and can't sleep. One minute, I'm super excited and the next I'm crying because I'm unsure and doubting, doubting, questioning my every motive and chastising myself for being foolish. *sigh* I HATE being indecisive!!!
You see, over a year ago when I first laid eyes on this horse, I went ga-ga. Uh-huh...head-over-heels stupid ga-ga over this horse. You'd think I was a silly teenager or something. I spent an hour on the phone with Kate (his current owner) learning everything I possibly could about him. And, then I did what I'm so very good at doing...I started to question the soundness of getting another horse when we already had 5 horses and a llama to feed and to buy hay for, pay for farrier expenses, veterinary costs, bedding supplies and on and on and on...you know the story. Horses are expensive. Horses are a lot of work. My hubby and I are not spring chickens anymore. My hubby and I are both gainfully full-time employees outside the home, aka tired when we get home to second horse-caretaking job, not to mention property owners, home owners, fence builders and maintainers, landscapers, cooks and chief bottle-washers...*sigh* ...sheesh, I'm getting tired just thinking about all we have to do. And, I wonder why we never have any money. And...why we can never afford to take nice vacations etc etc etc...the list goes on and on and on... you get the drill.
Anyway, after a week or so of heart-wrenching doubting and questioning of myself and my motives; I made the phone call to Kate and told her of my decision to postpone acquiring another horse at that time. I tried to forget about said horse. I even did - for a little while. But...no matter how hard I tried, somehow I never quite could...
Months and months go by, over a year actually. Things change, life happens...old friends die. Our beloved and precious resident "little old lady" coliced unexpectedly and we now had only 4 horses in our humble little abode.
After the initial grieving process, a tiny little (guilt-ridden) feeling of relief began to creep in...maybe our hay supply we'd bought just might last through the winter for 4 horses. Just maybe we won't have to buy a few more tons to get us by, the farrier bill will be just a tad less every couple of months, less vaccines to buy, one less stall to clean...don't get me wrong, I was never relieved at Siri's death. Not for one single minute! But, the more practical side of my brain began to emerge.
And then, I remembered Eagle. And the Wild Horse Expo was coming up. I'd put that on my calendar hoping we'd be able to attend, months earlier. I sent an e-mail to Kate inquiring, if perchance, she just might be attending, and if so, was she bringing Eagle to the event??? All perfectly innocent questions, right??? RIGHT???
Kate responds with a resounding "YES"!! "I'll bring Eagle with you in mind!". My heart starts pounding wildly in my chest, I start getting all emotional like a ninny and...well, you know. Shit happens!!! I had hoped that once I met him in person, I'd see that he was just another horse. No big deal, horses come along every single day. Finally, I could get him out of my head (and out of my heart). End of story...
He looked me squarely in the eye and I melted like a cube of butter in the noonday sun.
God help me...I was a goner.
Can't explain it. I don't even try. For those people out there who have never fallen in love with a horse at first sight, you couldn't possibly understand. But, just maybe there are those of you out there who know exactly what I'm talking about. Some things in life you just can't explain. Some things in life don't have to make perfect sense. And some things are just bigger than we are.
I think we were destined to be together...cool, huh?