Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Today's gift


Each morning when I awaken, I begin my day by feeling rushed.  I'd like to change that.  I have a quick word or two with my Maker, always trying to remain thankful for having been awakened and having a bright new day filled with prospects of something new.  I'm trying really, really hard to live my life more fully by being more aware and in the present.  I've never been much of a big planner, rather spending my days dreaming or conjuring up possibilities of things I'd like to do, places I'd like to visit and tasks I want to accomplish.  The problem is, I'm always at work and everything that I'd like to be doing is usually at home.  That presents a rather oppressive outlook on the likelihood of accomplishing much.  You see, most days when I arrive at home after a long day at work, I'm either brain dead or physically tired, sometimes both.  I don't have a lot of energy or time left for my interests.  In many cases, I do a few quick tasks, throw something together for dinner, head out to take care of the horses and have an hour or so of quiet time before heading off to bed for another round the next day.  Day in and day out, this is how it goes.  I feel like I'm spinning my wheels and making very little progress.  I really get tired of hearing of so many people's lack of time when they don't work an outside job and have so many more available hours in the day to accomplish what I have to try and complete in a couple of evening hours and then on the weekend.  Grrrr...
chaps my hide.  Walk a mile in someone else's shoes.

One thing that I do (or try to do) most mornings is have a bit of devotional time.  This is accomplished in a variety of ways, but usually involves reading from Scripture or one of my various devotional books that are Scripture-based.  I find this is the very best way to mindfully be aware that each new day is truly a gift.  I can choose to accept my life with gratitude and make the best of what is, or I can wish for things to be different.  Just by realizing that this is my choice is very helpful for me to feel less resentful of my many hours spent away from where I'd rather be.  I'm very thankful that I have a job, and for the most part I enjoy my job.  I am blessed that I'm able to participate in supporting our home and the lifestyle that we've chosen.  I'm also very aware that my husband's role of maintaining our home has become more of his responsibility, than it is mine.  It just works out that way, he's working 2-3 days a week now instead of 5, and he's got the time to devote to what I'd like to be doing.  He's very near completing the painting in our laundry room, mudroom/entry way and all the new trim and doorways in our kitchen and the nook off the kitchen.  Tonight when I get home, I'll hopefully be able to get the windows washed, the freshly laundered curtains ironed and re-hung, a quick dinner prepared and (hopefully) have a bit of daylight left to spend some time working with Eagle.  Our weather has been absolutely perfect for horseback riding, or really for just about anything outside.  I'm determined to get the house put back together and get outside and enjoy.

The trouble I find is that almost always, everything takes me longer than I visualize it taking.  Here's that spinning wheels feeling again that I just hate.  My solution is to offer up a quick prayer, a request for peace of mind, and of acceptance, that tomorrow is another day.  If I'm unable to finish everything that I'd hoped for, I'll always have tomorrow to work on that never-ending "to do" list that I've always got in front of me.  *sigh*  I'm trying to just be happy and satisfied that I'm able to finish some things, even if not everything, and be thankful for what we are able to do.   And as always, I'm so very thankful that my hard-working husband is busy on my "to do" list as well.  If it weren't for my never ending lists, he'd probably be content to go riding himself, or maybe go fishing on a sunny day, or enjoy a nap on the deck.  I have to remember that he's not doing exactly what he'd really like to be doing either.  He does all the things he does, because he loves me.  He does them because he wants me to be happy.  :)  I guess there's truth to that old saying, "if mama's happy, then everybody's happy".  Seems like the woman's attitude in a home really does set the precedence for others as well.  If you think of it that way, then we as women really have a lot of responsibility for the happiness of others in our homes.  Anyway...

He truly is my gift.  And a lot of the time, I repay his efforts and hard work and kindness...by being irritable and crabby with him.  I see tiny imperfections in what he's done.  I forget to say thank you.  I complain that he washed my black sweater with the towels, again.  Sometimes I wonder why he puts up with me.

If I were able to be a fly on the wall, what would I think?  What would I say to myself?  Maybe I don't want to know.  If I know me, I'd jump down and slap that gal silly!  Tell her to take a look around at all she has to be happy about.  Explain to her that nothing ever stays the same.  Remind her that our loved ones aren't here to do our bidding, and that they won't be around forever.  I think I'd tell her to overlook the small things that in the end, really don't matter.  I'd tell her to enjoy more, worry less, laugh at circumstances more often, be thankful for everything, and everyone.  I'd tell her to tell them that they are so very important, and that she loves them more than she knows how to express.

But flies don't talk much.  And if I were that fly, I'd probably have better things to do, sooo I persevere and do the best that I can.  And I remind myself as often as I can, to give thanks for my life, and always be mindful that I have so much to be grateful for.  I truly am blessed.

Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith...      Henry Ward Beecher

I choose faith.











17 comments:

Michelle said...

Life was simpler when I worked an 8-to-5 job; I'm not saying EASIER, just simpler. Wearing the hats of full-time mom-and-5th-grade-teacher, graphic designer, payroll specialist, shepherd, farm hand, gardener and domestic engineer sometimes leaves me feeling like I don't have a brain left under all those hats!

Grey Horse Matters said...

Wouldn't it be nice to be like our horses and simply live in the moment and take what is offered. I may not work anymore but I have less time now than I did when my kids were small and at home. I'm generally very organized but I have more work now than I did when I was younger. Or maybe it just feels like that...

Lea and her Mustangs said...

Oh Lorie, I don't work outside home anymore but I did for years. I don't think I was as busy then as I am now. However we lived in town, no horses, cows, chickens, goat, donkeys, pigs plus 5 dogs and 2 cats. BUT, I would not change it, shed a couple of horses and several bovines, but thats OK. God gave them to us to be good stewards over them. I thought we would be traveling or something fun in these days and for the most part it is fun. I love riding, I love schmoozing on Sage, I like my little goat that follows me like a dog, I love listening to the donkeys telling me its time to eat. One of these years we will have to start down loading, we will both be 75 this year but by faith we walk each day.
When I complain, I am just airing a moment in time that is irritating me. I love my life, and God permit we have more years ahead of us.
Blessings, Lea

Paint Girl said...

Now that I am no longer working, I am way busier then I have ever been. But I feel that way because I have the time to do everything that I didn't have time to do before when I worked. Actually I have no idea how I ever got anything done when I worked. I was like you, exhausted and hurting so bad when I got home from the Arab farm I worked for. I could barely function. I couldn't ride my horses, clean my house, do yard work... it was just too much. I am still tired after a long day of training horses, doing yard work, cleaning house, but I don't have that full time job on top of the other full time job anymore. It is so hard to find the balance of work and home life, I think especially more so when animals and kids are involved.
I am just very thankful that my other half has given me the special gift of staying home and taking care of him and the farm. I am loving every minute of it, no matter how crazy the days go!!

Cindy D. said...

This post just hit home in a way that I am not sure I can explain. It is as if you opened me up and took everything I feel and laid it out on the computer screen that is our paper.

I don't even need to tell "my version: of the story because you already have.

Suffice to say that I am right there with ya "sistah" and we just have to hang on to what is really important. Because the truth is, when we are gone no one is going to remember if we got everything done or not. They are going to remember us for the women we were/are.

Jenn said...

I needed this reminder, thank you! I work full time and try (sometimes to the detriment of myself and those around me!) too hard to get "everything" done "right now" at home. Run a farm, ride and care for the horses, get the gardens in, make repairs, etc. etc. There doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day, but I do need to slow down and enjoy the hours I do have instead of rushing through them or wishing there were more.

Carolynn Anctil said...

I wonder how my husband puts up with me, sometimes, too. Then, I remember, that I'm also putting up with him. *grin*

Blessings,
Carolynn

Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams said...

You have a great attitude...and honestly it seems that no matter how much or little we work, there isn't enough time. I guess it's all in how we perceive it.

Jen

fernvalley01 said...

perfect post, a wise woman you are

Stephen Andrew said...

Wonderful post. I also try to appreciate the gifts of the day in my own way. Often that means literally stopping to smell the roses ;)

Strawberry Lane said...

Very perceptive post! You have so many gifts and you certainly show that you are aware of each one. The problem sometimes is ... we make our lists too long. Peace of mind is the greatest blessing... getting it is our challenge.

Linda said...

Great post........me TOO! Be still and know that I am God.........I need to be still sometimes and just KNOW!

C-ingspots said...

You're so right about peace of mind Marvel...I wish I had it more often.
Linda, perfect verse. I wish I were content to be still more often.
Thank you all for your comments. It's helpful knowing I'm in such good company! :)

aurora said...

Great insight in this post. Not sure where my previous comment went? Must have not been using Chrome. Anyways, I came over to see what you've been up to lately. Hopefully spending some time enjoying your horses?! You've mentioned Eagle is doing great, looking forward to hearing more.

Managing time is a never ending challenge, one I'm not very good at. Hard for an unperfect perfectionist like me. I continue trying to juggle, with more balls in the air then one could possibly ever catch. I am not a very good finisher, too easily distracted. Maybe someday I'll find that sweet spot called balance, but more then likely die trying. I recently started doing hot yoga to help me learn to "let go" of all consuming things. Appreciation is a practice. Trying to do more of it. We've got a lot to be thankful for, said one fly to another.

aurora said...

Great insight in this post. Not sure where my previous comment went? Must have not been using Chrome. Anyways, I came over to see what you've been up to lately. Hopefully spending some time enjoying your horses?! You've mentioned Eagle is doing great, looking forward to hearing more.

Managing time is a never ending challenge, one I'm not very good at. Hard for an unperfect perfectionist like me. I continue trying to juggle, with more balls in the air then one could possibly ever catch. I am not a very good finisher, too easily distracted. Maybe someday I'll find that sweet spot called balance, but more then likely die trying. I recently started doing hot yoga to help me learn to "let go" of all consuming things. Appreciation is a practice. Trying to do more of it. We've got a lot to be thankful for, said one fly to another.

Cindy Garber Iverson said...

I really like your idea of starting your day off with a devotional. I've kind of done the opposite by ending my day with one. I was having a hard time with feeling like my wheels were always spinning and I wasn't getting enough done each day. So at the beginning of this year, I started keeping a little journal in a hardbound planner on my bedside table. Each day has a few lines of space on it. Instead of writing down "to do's" in it, I write down what I did during the day. Each night I reflect back on my day and jot down short notes of what I've accomplished. I'm amazed at how much it has increased my peace of mind. At the end of each day, I am always surprised at how much I really did get done... even if it wasn't on my to-do list.

Cindy at Rosehaven Cottage

C-ingspots said...

Cindy, what a fantastic idea! Maybe I shall try that too. We moved into our home 18 + years ago, and feel many times how little we've accomplished...but, when we look back at pictures and really take stock of what changes/improvements we've made, we're shocked at just how much we've done. What a great way to keep track and remember ones' accomplishments. I'm going to give it a try!
Aurora: Thank you Miss Fly!!!